I'm afraid that one of the things we most need, most of us don't want.
We need objectivity.
In other words, we need friends who are willing to help us look at what's going on in our lives from a different angle - from a biblical angle. When we're in a situation, we're looking at it from our perspective, we have an interpretation, an explanation. But since we're in the situation, it's easy for our perspective, interpretation, explanation to be warped. We need people in our lives who can help us look more clearly, more biblically at the way we are thinking about what is going on in our lives.
But too often we don't really want that.
One way to prove that, who we go to when we want counsel. If we do go to other people for counsel, we go to our yes men; people for help or counsel who we know won't disagree with us...or at least not very much. When people do begin to offer a different perspective, we find ways of shutting them down.
Another way to prove that, who we don't go to when we want counsel. I'm convinced that one of the greatest blessings many people are missing out on in the church, are their elders. Elders are a gift from God to the church - one reason why - they can offer much needed biblical objectivity. Not perfect objectivity - they are just ordinary, sinful men. But still, that said, they are men that you have recognized as being godly, they are men that you have recognized as being gifted to teach, they are men who you have committed yourself to submitting to - why not at least go to them and ask for help when you are thinking about making a major decision? I'm not talking about where to buy milk; I'm talking big decisions - like moving, getting a new job, problems in your relationship with your wife...you get the picture.
I don't think I need to tell you that not doing so is pretty foolish.
If you don't go and ask because you don't respect your elders, why be in that church in the first place? I can pretty much guarantee you aren't really learning very much on Sunday mornings if you don't respect your elders enough to ask for their help.
And if you do respect them, why wouldn't you go?
Could it be that though you need objectivity, you don't really, truly want it?